Different
by Darksummoner98
Summary: Paine reflects on her past in the Crimson Squad and a certain praetor finds her alone on Besaid beach. But why would Baralai be looking for Paine? Rated T just to be safe. One-shot.


**Just before you read this, I have not given up on my other story, this idea just came to me and Paine is one of my favourite characters from Final Fantasy and I feel that she's underappreciated in the storyline even though she had a past with all three leaders. I do like the Paine/Zack pairing and Paine/Vincent but I also love Paine/Gippal and Paine/Baralai so I decided to do this. **

**Anyways enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X and X-2 belongs to Square Enix, previously known as Squaresoft. I own nothing!**

Vegnagun has been defeated, Spira's three leaders are finally at peace, the High Summoner is finally reunited with her lover and the Eternal Calm is safe once more. All over Spira celebrations and parties are taking place as people cheer and dance with feelings of joy and happiness in their hearts. You'd think everyone would be this way…

But not me.

I've always been different, I've accepted that, I've adapted to it, I've used it to my advantage. Even growing up in the orphanage, having a reputation of being different was probably the only thing that really kept me alive. If people know you're different, that you're a loner, you have a mysterious past, that you're a goth they'll leave you alone and steer clear of you.

Especially if there's a possibility that you're dangerous.

Running away probably wasn't the best idea, but it certainly wasn't the worst. Living on the streets and learning the ways of the harsh world really helped as well as training myself how to use a sword and embracing my instincts. Back then, I didn't really have a plan for my future, I didn't think about a job, or if I'd get married or how many children I'd have, all I really cared about was my next meal and makeshift house for the night. I didn't have any plans at all, I simply accepted that my life was going nowhere… well that is until I saw the signs for the recruitments for the Crimson Squad.

That was one of my best and yet also my worst decisions; to join the squad. Of course I nearly died several times throughout the whole thing but hey, my life wasn't really worth much back then. But it became of worth when I realised three of the bravest yet craziest people in Spira became a big part of it.

When signing up for the recruitments I had planned to use my stoic and unsociable persona to my advantage, it would make sure the others gave me no trouble and that I'd get a good place as a fearless warrior in the squad.

Could I have been more wrong?

Being the only woman in the Squad had been troublesome at times and being tasked with the job of a recorder since women apparently weren't supposed to fight was degrading to my pride to say the least. Still I kept up my emotionless façade with my occasional trademark glare and hoped to make a name for myself, to prove myself among my team and my fellow recruits.

'Doctor P' was not what I had in mind.

Looking back on it now I'm not sure how I managed to grasp onto my self-control and not kill the playboy Al Bhed the second I met him. I guess that's a mystery we'll never solve. I remember he'd always want to be the centre of attention and he'd always be fiddling with mechanical parts when we were trying to sleep. He'd never stop talking and ranting on about how badly Al Bheds were treated, but he did teach me the language and how to use a gun. If someone had told me back then that this infuriating man with a pea-sized brain would be my best friend in years to come, I would've either laughed or reported them as mentally unstable. Possibly both.

If someone had told me a Deathseeker would teach me that my life was worth a lot more than I had originally thought they would've gotten the same response. Yet it happened. Nooj would jump into any battle fearlessly looking for his demise; he had even admitted his quest to die how he felt he had cheated death for far too long as he was half machina. I remember one time I had destroyed the fiend that was about to kill him, he had been insanely angry with me but I've never regretted my actions on that day. To me, that was the first sign that I cared for this man as I would've cared for my brother if I had one.

The last part of our strange family was not what I had expected. I could tell from the moment I saw him that he was a follower of Yevon, maybe even a priest, with his fancy robes and calm collected demeanour. At first I underestimated him as a pampered rich boy of Bevelle who didn't run with scissors but my opinion soon changed when I saw him in action.

I admit that Baralai was the one I got along with most during my Crimson Squad days. He was kind, understanding, quiet, sensible and gentle. We often discussed many things together and confided in one another when taking long walks or when we moved our camp. I remember he used to always stand in front of me when training or at least near me to protect me from fiends even though I was well able to take care of myself. I proved that to him when they failed to take down an Elder Drake, though recorders aren't supposed to interfere, I acted on instinct and sliced its throat open with a deadly accurate upward cut. I vaguely remember warning the three that they were catching flies in their mouths as I walked away from the scene.

At first I remained distant and emotionless only speaking when I was spoken too and remaining silent when I could, sending the odd death glare at Gippal. I did my job and used my free time to find a secluded spot and train, alone and content. Gippal tried his hardest to rile me up; Nooj tried to stop him and was always ready in case my fingers did manage to accidently close around the Al Bhed's scrawny neck. Baralai was constantly trying to include me in their conversations and activities and he was pretty persuasive, I did open up to them… eventually.

Those days were great but I didn't realise they were also numbered. That fateful day on Mushroom Rock Road changed everything. The dark surroundings, the unbearable coldness, the clouds of pyreflies choking you, obscuring your senses, and your teammates turning on you. I remember all the blood, the tortured cries, the unbearable scenes of torture and gore as I ran, camera in hand, through the maze of twisted tunnels, not caring where I was going. The fear was so thick in the air you could almost smell it, the fear of dying, of being trapped there forever, of losing my closest friends as they each pointed their guns at one another.

Those images still lace through my nightmares, through my darkest dreams in the deepest corner of my mind. Even as I sit here in the hidden alcove on Besaid beach, I can still see the images so clearly as though they happened only yesterday. I know I shouldn't be reminiscing my past horrors, that I should be like the rest of Spira and join the celebrations back in the village.

But like I said, I'm different.

"Rikku told me I could find you here," a soft voice sounds from behind me as I try my best not to jump slightly in surprise at the intusion.

"You trusted a drunk Al Bhed?" I enquire in my usual deadpanned tone of voice.

"I guess," Baralai chuckles softly as he takes a seat beside me on the grassy terrain. "Why aren't you at the party? You helped save Spira too; you deserve to relax a bit."

I grudgingly admit that he's right in my mind. I know I should feel proud for aiding the salvation of Spira, for saving people's lives, for reuniting two lovers but I only feel a sense of dread. Everyone's relaxing and partying, enjoying the victory and rejoicing in the return of a lost friend but I can't help but feel slightly anxious. It only took Spira two years to fall into turmoil once again. Sin came and was defeated, Vegnagun arose and was also defeated, but what will come next? And when will it come? But more importantly, will we be able to stop it?

Evil is like energy in a way, it can't be created or destroyed, it can only go from one form to another. So why relax, why celebrate when you just allow evil to transpire into another form? But I don't want to dampen Baralai's spirits, so I settle for a different excuse.

"I don't do parties," I say emotionlessly staring out at the full moon's reflection on the calm dark waters of the sea.

Baralai chuckles softly again and I squash the feelings of butterflies in my stomach that appear every time I hear his heavenly laughter. _I'm getting soft_, I think to myself bitterly.

"I beg to differ," Baralai's smiling at me, with a knowing look in those beautiful chocolate eyes. "I seem to remember one night in the Squad where you thoroughly enjoyed the party."

"I don't remember that," I say honestly, finally turning to look at him. His white bangs are swaying softly in the slight breeze and his eyes maintain their penetrating gaze on me.

"I wouldn't expect you too, you were drunk," he chuckles softly again, probably at the memory of it.

I give a small grunt in reply and turn my attention back to the still waters. Why isn't he celebrating with the rest of them? Why did he come to find me? He could be surrounded by adoring Besaid girls and dancing to his heart's content, so why is he here with me?

Not that I'm complaining.

A throat clears beside me, breaking my musings and forcing me to turn my attention back towards the praetor who continues to stare at me intently. I command my body not to shift uncomfortably under his gaze and it works… only barely.

"I've been meaning to ask you…" he trails off slightly, his eyes dropping to the ground between us allowing me to get a glimpse of his long swooping eyelashes. I follow his gaze and realise that there isn't much ground between us at all; our shoulders are slightly brushing off one another. I gulp silently and turn my attention to his sun-kissed face. "Why… why didn't you turn around?"

I allow a small amount of confusion to enter my facial features and he continues, "when you first came to Bevelle with the Gullwings… you didn't turn around, did… did you…" He lets the question hang in the air, awaiting my answer.

"Did I resent, hate, not want to see you?" I suggested and when he confirms the answer with a nervous nod, I finally drop my eyes, not wanting to see the anxiety shining in his. "Maybe, I'm not sure what I was feeling at the time. I guess I was just… afraid…"

"Of what?" he prods, leaning ever so slightly closer to me sot that I don't even notice.

"Of what I'd see in your eyes," I answer honestly, still not looking up.

"I don't understand," he says so softly it's barely above a whisper on the tropical breeze, but I hear it but I don't know how to answer.

"Yevon was a corrupt organisation that was built upon lies, murder and deception. They killed off a whole squad of young warriors and did everything in their power to make sure all those that were lucky enough to survive were terminated," I explain trying to keep the hate out of my voice but bitterness still slips through. "Then I find out you're the leader of the same organisation?" I finally look up to see a guilty heart-wrenching look in the same eyes I've always adored, the same eyes I've always been afraid to look into.

"I remember the dark look I saw in the maester's eyes when they sent us into that cave, when you told them of what you saw, when they ordered the soldiers to kill you…" I trail off as past nightmare's blur before my closed eyelids, making me open them and stare at the grass between our bodies in order to escape the past turmoil. "I was afraid I'd see the same look in your eyes."

Silence descends upon us, I'm not sure if it's awkward or comfortable, I'm too lost in my own musings I don't even see Baralai's face growing closer to my own. Some would say they didn't turn around because they were more interested in the scenery or they were trying to play it cool. Me, I simply can't look into his eyes… Replaying the words in my head, it sounds strange yet… different.

I feel something soft rest underneath my chin and gently tilt my head up so that I'm looking straight into his captivating eyes. "Paine… what do you see now?" he asks quietly.

I'm surprised by the question but know that he will want an answer, so I search, I allow myself to be sucked into the eyes that remind me of melted chocolate. Emotions swirl in the pools of my secret sanctuary so fast their nearly unidentifiable but I force myself to focus, to find if my fears that day were correct.

Guilt, regret, sorrow, shock all swarm through the heavenly brown depths but I find no darkness, I don't find the maester's poison in his eyes and I think he sees the relief on my face because relief flashes through his eyes too and something else, something I never thought would ever flash through his eyes when looking at me. The warmth of that one emotion spreads through me like wildfire, heating my veins and allowing a fuzzy, glowing feeling to encase my heart.

"Not what I was expecting," I finally answer as I detract myself from his gorgeous eyes.

"Is that good or bad?" Baralai asks with a hint of nervousness lacing his soft voice.

"It's… different," I decide as an answer.

"A good different?" he questions hopefully.

I finally notice that his hand still rests underneath my chin and that I can feel his warmth breath on my lips as I stare into my rich chocolate pools of sanctuary and I don't care. I allow my gloved hand to find the back of his neck and close the distance between us.

My eyes flutter close as his lips move in sync with mine. The warm feeling grows inside me as he wraps his strong arms around my waist, pulling me to his toned body in an attempt to crush our bodies together. My other arm slides around his neck pushing his lips more roughly against mine. A low growl escapes from his throat as I tease his bottom lip with my teeth. The passion grows as his tongue darts into my mouth, tasting every crevice of my mouth and making me mewl in pleasure. I feel him lean back mid-kiss and because his arms are locked in a death grip around my waist we both fall back on the grassy floor, with me lying on top of his toned body.

We finally break apart both gasping and struggling to steady our breathing. I see the emotion now freely swimming through his liquid brown eyes and my heart flutters with joy in my chest and shivers run down my spine as his nimble fingers brush a stray piece of silver hair behind my ear.

I feel a smile spread across my lips as I place my hand on his cheek, lowering my head slightly as I whisper four words before his lips ascend to meet mine once more.

"Definitely a good different."


End file.
